Being Mentally Strong

I came across a few interesting articles this week, but they dealt with my issues about being introverted, moody, and inconsistent. The last one is what I need to be concentrating my efforts on in order to improve. I don’t like the word change, because it implies there is something wrong with who I am, and that invokes the stubborn in me. Never wanted to be another sheep in the flock, but what I need to start thinking is that it’s okay to stand out in a flock of sheep.

To be this guy . . .

So, I read 13 Things Mentally Strong People DON’T Do in Spirit Science and Metaphysics.

#1 is the worst for me to have to read: They never feel sorry for themselves. Don’t I know it! What I wouldn’t give to be mentally strong, eh? Which is why I wanted to read the article and make every attempt to become this way. Not that person, just this way and not the way my mind currently operates. It’s a big part of why I’m here blogging, so this is a good thing.

As long as the writing muse stays with me, I don’t think about anything at all, and I love that! Not thinking . . . about me, my problems, etc. I’m just writing, my mind has transported itself to another world and lost itself among strangers it created and wishes to take on a fantastic journey.

Love it! It isn’t about me at all, and there isn’t an ounce of reality involved, either, which is even better. Mentally. For me. Not having to go there and dwell on that for any length of time.

#2 is they don’t give away their power. Giggle. I suppose if I had any power at all, I might be reluctant, but I’ll never know, will I? Truthfully, I used to do this all the time. Everyone stole my powers and sapped me of what little mental strength I possessed. I let them because I didn’t know how to cope. Now, however, that mindset is banished permanently. Fuck everyone who tries to stomp on me, insult or put me down, and make me think they’re better or somehow more worthy than me. No boss, overlord, or otherwise can take me there again, so yes . . . I’ve got the power.

#3 They don’t shy away from change — but then the writer went on to say they don’t shy away from positive change. Derp. Who does? Which would indicate the flaw of shying away from negative changes, yes? Whatever. I’m pretty flexible and therefore strong.

#4 is another embarrassment for me: They don’t waste energy on things they can’t change. Right. So, I guess that’s something else I need to work on. That stubborn pride thing (my son said it’s false humility, which makes it sound even worse, doesn’t it?). However, if I look at this figuratively, it would mean to ignore the fact I’m unable to gain employment and just keep doing what I’m doing with the inward hope of coming into some form of income somewhere down the road. JUST LET IT ALL GO and move onward and upward kind of thinking — I’m totally and completely down for that.

#5 They don’t worry about pleasing everyone. Yes! Another win for me! Never tried, never cared, never bothered attempting this — although I must admit to wanting others to treat me better, so I went above and beyond the call of duty in that regard. Wasted effort I soon realized and just walked away. No loss. What I think I might need to learn how to do, though, is please my readers . . . no. I can’t do that, either. I write the way I write, and they will come or they won’t.

#6 They don’t fear taking calculated risks. Quoting the author here:

Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

I’ve always been this person, but maybe not as smart as others who do this, because some of my well-thought-out decisions / plans have turned into the biggest disasters I’ve ever had to face as a result.

#7 They don’t dwell on the past. Aaaah! Argh. I know this. I know this to be true, and even though I hate dwelling, it tends to happen from time to time. I’ve devised some clever ways in which to stop it before it overtakes my mind, too. So, that indicates a willingness to change. Looking back is stupid, wrong, and pointless. Mantra time:  STOP!

#8 They don’t make the same mistakes over and over. Now, it may not seem like it, but I don’t do this. There is no room for fool me once, fool me twice. Fool me once and you’re dead to me. Period.

#9 They don’t resent other people’s success. Yeesh. Yikes. How utterly and completely embarrassing and shameful of me. I’m a closet resenter, though. I smile outwardly and pat people on the back because it’s what I’m supposed to do. Internally, I’m like BITCH! The article mentions strong minds realizing that success comes from hard work . . . um, right. Really? When? When does my hard work pay off? Wait. Do they mean work that has a paycheck benefit? Is that why I’m still not a success? Sigh

#10 They don’t give up after a first failure. Now, I used to do this. When I was young and stupid and didn’t know any better. I just wanted to have fun and enjoy myself, so losing anything was the opposite of fun and I walked away. Now, I don’t care about win/lose anything and just keep moving ahead with a single objective in mind. I’m not looking back, so I don’t mind failure.

#11 They don’t fear alone time. This always makes me laugh. If I were someone who didn’t like being alone, I’d be dead by now or in a rubber room. I crave alone time like I sometimes crave being around others. Once I’m in the midst of others, though, I tend to want to be alone again.

#12 They don’t feel the world owes them anything. Shame on me. Not the world, though. Screw the world and their stupid goals, ideals, morays, and regulations. It’s not the world I feel owes me anything, and I don’t owe them a thing, either. I’m not and never have asked for anything without merit (which is what the article implies). All I really want is my day in the sun, and I’m sorry, but this isn’t asking too much of anyone. It’s always been by my own merits that I’ve lived, too. So, cut me some slack, get off my back, and let me breathe for a welcome change. That’s all. Selfish, I know, but there you have it. I’m sick and tired of trying, trying, doing, doing, effort, effort, and getting zero in return.

which leads to the final strategy of strong-minded people

#13  They don’t expect immediate results. Well, the word immediate is a misnomer in my case. I’m a little bit and not a little bit anticipatory of the overnight sensation thing. Reality makes me laugh that notion off almost immediately. I’ve been around too long to not know this just isn’t in my cards. I’m not impatient as a rule, and I don’t rely on others to help.

When I think more about these things, there are aspects that just can’t be avoided. Like, relying on others for help. If I want my book to sell, I have to do this. It’s part of the job of a self-published (and today even publishing house published) author. We both have to hawk our wares in order to get noticed.

Still, I liked finding this article because it’s something I need to help me grow and improve.