No Right to Brag

Tell us about something you (or a person close to you) have done recently (or not so recently) that has made you really, unabashedly proud.

Well, I was actually in the mood to answer today’s daily prompt, but it wants me to expound on a prideful event in my or someone else’s life, so I can’t answer.

Pride, as I understand it, is something to be avoided, scorned in yourself and others, and just not something you go around letting the whole world know you possess.

“Hey! Look at me! I did something spectacular, and you all need to know about it!” kind of thing that makes you look stupid (to me anyway).

To others, though, it is a sign of courage, strength of character, and an overall sense of well-being.

There was my first attempt at Indie publishing this year, and it made me very happy – for awhile – but, that isn’t my prideful side, which would inevitably lead to my certain downfall. It felt good to have finally accomplished something I had set out to do more than twenty years ago, that’s for sure. But, I wasn’t as eager to boast or wave the flag of fame in everyone’s face as I could have been or maybe even should have done.

I already know I have pride issues, and it isn’t something I’m bred to be proud of, which sounds like a contradiction but it isn’t.

What pride I do possess is in the silly, stubborn things of life. Like, refusing to ask for help when I need it, or borrowing from others in order to survive or to keep something of value from slipping through my hands, never to be regained.

That kind of stubborn, willful pride.

Mick Jagger’s famous lyrics, only backwards.

Then there is this LESSER KNOWN quote: Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)

I believe this to be true in my case, so to go there and attempt fate isn’t my idea of fun or a wise thing to do.

I mentioned being superstitious and having Murphy’s Law follow me wherever I go, didn’t I?

Here’s a blurry picture of last night’s Strawberry-Super Moon

super-moon-6-13-14

Just above the SE horizon, peaking through the trees, I was blessed to have been witness to something incredible, and that won’t happen again until the year 2049, which I don’t plan on being around to see again, so … happy! But, not proud.

I’m late to this daily blog because I started vegging with a Freaks & Geeks marathon on the idiot box. About an episode and a half in, however, I realized the huge mistake I was making and rose from the comfy sofa, turned off said idiot box, and entered the den of writing iniquity to commence another day of trying to get noticed for that endeavor.

Relieved to know it’s possible for someone like me to possess such willpower when I never thought I had any at all, but not proud. Anyone can do this if they put their mind to it, so it isn’t a huge deal and shouldn’t be looked at as such.

Cautious, mindful, wary … call it what you like, I’m still not going to succumb to pride, and I wish it wasn’t with me even in its negative aspect – being stubborn.

It is #1 on the 7 deadly sins list for a very good reason, I think.

Being proud is for people like men with money who like women 30 – 50 years younger than them. Folks who are in the spotlight because they can sing, dance, or act. Sports figures who truly believe that without them, their team would be nothing.

I don’t know too many guy varieties who don’t possess some form of pride. A strange sense of self-worth that makes them believe they are handsome, debonair, sophisticated, and charming even when it’s so far removed from reality it isn’t funny – and usually glaringly obvious to everyone around them, except for them.

They rarely, if ever, fall, too. They just keep getting bigger, louder, and more prominent in the spectacle of their own lives, and the crowd seems to continue to want to see and enjoy it, too.

This, to me, equates with pride, and I wouldn’t want to be that person; not for all the $ in the world. I’d like it even more if the negative side of pride would just evaporate from my mind, too. I think I might breathe easier, sleep better, and let more things slide as a result.

Dream Weaver     Shame On The Universe     PGHLesbian     Chronicles     A Penny For     TuckedInto

Advertisements

About RaineBalkera

Aspiring Author of Romance
This entry was posted in Blog and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to No Right to Brag

  1. Harliqueen says:

    A really interesting post. Pride is something that I think should be allowed to happen when you achieve something like writing a book though! That really is an accomplishment 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • RaiBal says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting! I’d so much like and honestly want to agree with you, but I can’t let myself go there. It’s weird and hard to explain. Like, I’m terrified that if I do actually step outside myself this way, God Himself is going to throw a lightning bolt at me and bam . . . it’s over! LOL I’m trying, really I am, to be different and let go of a few of the crazies inside my head, but it will take time. I even joined 20+ Facebook groups dedicated to hawking my book, and I break out in a cold sweat each time (once a week) I click the POST button. I’m weird, what can I say. Appreciate your encouragement!! 😀

      Like

  2. Pingback: Not to brag, but… | The Hempstead Man

Please let me know what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s