You are on a mission to Mars. Because of the length of of the journey, you will never be able to return to Earth. What about our blue planet will you miss the most?
Maybe because I’m in a grumpy mood this morning, but …
If I’m going to another planet for ‘mission’ work that isn’t so ‘impossible’ anymore, it sure as heck won’t be as an illimitable volunteer. More like ‘…see you in a few months’ kind of deal. A trip to Mars takes, on average, 8 months. Wait. Does someone know something I don’t? I’ve only got 9 months to live?
And, speaking of looking frantically over both shoulders in paranoid anxiety …
how in the WORLD did Google know what was in my head even before it reached my fingers? I’m pretty sure I insist on checking off or unchecking things that keep these jerks from following, tracking, snooping, prying, poking, prodding, and otherwise invading my privacy, but maybe this is just a tricky ruse on their part to lie and make it look like they’re being honest.
The right way to respond is: Everything. I’d miss it all and wouldn’t go even if they paid me however much money in the world. (But, only if the forever clause is set in stone)
And, since I am being a crab-face this morning, I’ll answer this post backwards – because I can.
Here’s the wrong way to respond: What I WOULDN’T miss if I left for Mars and never came back.
The noisy neighbors, their yapping mutts, and that screaming hellion of a 3 year old who makes random forays into the yard, screams at will, for about a half-hour or so, and then wanders back inside the house for a few.
Air pollution on days like these, muggy and overcast, with the pungent aroma of rotten eggs and dead fish looming large, burning my eyes, stinging my nostrils, and giving me a headache.
People. The rude, obnoxious variety who treat me like crap and manage to scare me against my better judgment.
Having to look for a job when there are no jobs to look for that would be interested in someone like me, with my skills, or lack thereof. (Does anyone else know how utterly and completely humiliating/deflating it feels to be turned down for part-time, temporary WAREHOUSE work at Target, Kohls, K-Mart, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, Meijer, and Toys R Us?)
Television, News Media outlets, and telephones. That’s right, I typed the word TELEPHONE. When and if I’m ever able to afford a SMART PHONE, I’ll refer to it that way then.
Having to worry day in and day out about my survival in this pathetic world. If I lived on Mars, it would be a given that I’d be provided for food, air, sleep, etc. wise, right? I think I can dig that right about now. No more sleepless night tossing and turning, wondering what tomorrow will bring even when I already know the answer: sameness and nothing. Not having to think about it would be a welcome and relieving joy.
Heck, I might even find enough time to gain back my soul. Maybe the pain, anger, and resentment would fade, too. I might find myself again, get back what I lost through adversity (when the jolly old sayings go: when the going gets tough, the tough get going – I’m not tough. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade – I hate lemonade. And, my all-time favorite, God Helps Those who Help Themselves – a conundrum if ever I heard one. If I’m helping myself, then what need is there of His … I thought he was supposed to be there for me when this stuff happens, not stand back and watch as I sink into the abyss.)
And, by the way, I certainly wouldn’t be longing for gravity. If anything, I’d be relieved to know it no longer mattered. Feeling weightless, buoyant, and … THIN! I’d actually be able to exercise longer, more productively, without keeling over in a dead faint. That, to me, is another plus – not a minus.
Crummy mood = crummy post