Good Memories, Bad Timing

Memory on the Menu

Which good memories are better — the recent and vivid ones, or those that time has covered in a sweet haze?

Semper Fi, Pop

Semper Fi, Pop

Not sure what happened, but my e-mail and WordPress are not friends anymore. Doesn’t matter, though, because it’s easy to find this DailyPrompt page without receiving it in my gmail every morning.

Past or Present, if it’s a good memory, why slap a label on it? Are we even capable of dismissing the good memories from the timeline we don’t prefer?

Death is a bad thing, which creates bad memories, and yet decades later, which would put this one in the past with very present reflection, my memories have not only refused to fade but have evolved in all that time.

26 years ago yesterday, I came home and found my father passed away on the sofa in our livingroom. I knew something was wrong when Roller Derby played on the TV. He’d been ill for awhile and was 74 at the time, too. At first, I decided to pretend it was some deep sleep he’d fallen into and mulled about inside my room, removing backpack things, gazing out the window through blurry eyes, and hoping that what I was thinking and feeling wasn’t really true.

I’ll never forget that day or those feelings, and I’ll never forget the man who ended up evoking in me far more than I ever thought possible, too. And, there was even a time not too long ago when I started to entertain an entirely new set of memories about him in my head but never my heart. So, it turns out he wasn’t all I had managed to crack him up to be. When I was little, he was a giant among men, and then I grew up and discovered he was a short, squat man only slightly taller than I ended up being for life. He never loved me the way I wanted or needed him to, but he sure loved my mother, and I despised her, so it didn’t seem right or fair to my narrow, spiteful mind.

The lack of outward, physical affection aside, along with his snap-judgment, quick tempered mentality, I still think about him, remember him the way I had idolized him as a child, and want it to stay that way for the remainder of my days.

Nothing wrong with that, I think.

For recent good memory … last night I stayed up until past 3:30 a.m. in the chilly night air to watch a meteor shower that promised a lot but didn’t deliver. I love the stars and can’t help wanting to look up every clear night that occurs, but when something special doesn’t pan out, the memory will linger in my mind for a long time, making it a bad thing that should have been great, then making it a good thing that went bad but is still worth remembering.

I guess I’m not very good at figuring out how to respond to these cryptic posts.

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About RaineBalkera

Aspiring Author of Romance
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8 Responses to Good Memories, Bad Timing

  1. wscottling says:

    I also look up to the stars expecting wonders and seeing stars, which are wonderful in their own right I suppose, but… yeah. disappointment all around. But ya know what? Sometimes it’s the whole sitting out under the stars that makes the night good. That’s what I’d tell my kids anyway. ^_^

    Thanks for sharing the memory of your dad.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. RaiBal says:

    Agreed. I’ve been star gazing for as far back as I can remember and never get tired of it. Twilight to after midnight until I get sleepy is my favorite time of the day. The night sky here isn’t as spectacular as it is in a rural area or parts north of here, but it’s getting better now that Detroit has rotted away and reverted back to the wild 😉 Thanks for reading and responding! Hope your Memorial Weekend is a great one, too

    Like

  3. Angela Misri says:

    Nothing wrong with that at all. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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